Senseless Change (final)

In recent weeks, President Obama decided that the value of the penny has become so minute, that the suspension of the penny will not cause a drastic change in the economy. With this shaky economy, the physical presence of the money is probably worth more than the bill says. These lying strips of parchment and moot coins are the product of all the computer money “present” in today’s society. There are so many numbers people say they have, but if they asked for all “their” money in physical form, the largest government “IOU” would be issued to the masses. So where’d all the money go?

 Other than under our beds and in the discrete crevasses in our cars, all our money is made up to make people feel good. Banks don’t hold the money we think they do. We go to banks and say “Hey, take this money for a bit”, the teller responds with “Sure, let me take care of it”, after that, the teller types a few digits into a computer and then tosses the money with the rest, where it belongs (i.e the rubbish bin). Thousands, or hundreds of thousands of dollars, can now be spent with a little plastic card. This card says “There’s probably some money on here, but let’s find out just to make sure.” Then it gets declined at dinner and your gold-digger date dips out of the door and you sit there and think about where all your money went, then it takes us back to the beginning.

Now that the value of our American dollar has been established, let’s talk about the penny: a semi-copper, “one cent” coin that even pinchers of said coin dismiss as unworthy tender. The mere production of the multitudes of this useless currency costs more than the actual coins are worth. This lonesome coin has been at the disposal of the American people since John Wilkes Booth gave us our seventeenth president. Its close relative the farthing was amiss at the turn of the century due to its inability to pay its back taxes to the Brits. So it’s about time something be done about this “penny”.

In this day and age, the use of coins is as abundant and useful as street lamplighters. Many a magician has plucked these senseless cent-less coins from behind the ears of far too many Americans and has put too many magical coins into our stream of cold hard cash. So, what can we do about it? Simple: get rid of the coin- but is it that easy?

With the particulation of the penny, the value of all transactions must equal a dollar amount that can be brought down to the second lowest cent: the faithful nickel. Without the penny, the nickel will assume to position as the lowest ranking officer in His Majesties Pocket. How long will it be until the nickel becomes as useless as the penny? What next, the dime, the all-powerful quarter? Oh the humanity; where will the tyranny end? The tragedy of money becoming nothing is upon us. Someday, somehow, a light will be shed and give us our answer. Until then, hold on to your pennies, because when they’re all gone, they might be worth something.

This Frozen Hell (final)

It was Christmas Eve. Fog stuck to the tarmac at Lindbergh Field. The frosty dew on the black top made my feet slide across the ground. If I hit any black ice and went down, I knew it’d be all over. My pants were completely torn. In fact, my “pants” have been torn to shorts. I was freezing at this point; I felt more than Jack Frost nipping at my fingers and toes. When I’m done here, I’m not too sure if my fingers and toes will last.

My hands still bound, I made it to a fence. Six foot or so, chain link fence; I had no problem scaling it. I was free. I could hear the dogs in the distance, however, quickly approaching. Good thing for me, my evolutionary stand point has allowed me to escape the fiery jaws of those thumbless mutts. As I listened to the sirens howling my direction, I heard my freedom behind me. I ran through a grove of birch trees and found myself at a lake. This frozen freedom trail is all I had left, so I had to act fast, well, as fast as I could move in these damned subfreezing temperatures.

The many fjords and peninsulas of the lake made it a good place to lay low, not that I should, at this time of year. I made it to about the center of the frozen highway when, halt. A light. Two lights; now three. It was a search party. Pigs, dogs, rats, the whole farm was in attendance; E-I-E-I-O. I’d had it. The lights were everywhere. Barking, yelling, cracking tree branches. My senses were so overwhelmed I myself became frozen. I stood, ice cold, frozen solid, in my wet shoes.

My time outside the cold brick walls of my cell in this cold foreign terrain was up. Looks like Christmas will be government funded and in the form of lethal injection. The fog was thick, but my mind was not clouded. Clear as ever, I saw my way out. With a rush of adrenaline and four years of weight pounding I smashed my way through the ice and began to dive into my icy tomb. Just as I went for the hole, a shot rang out. A blistering noise that, shortly after, made my leg swell with warmth. That was it. My ticket back to my real hell. I’d be upset, but hell is a whole lot warmer than here.      

My Modest Proposal (final)

        There is a break. A divide between the urban and suburban masses in our country today. The proud nation that fought for its solidarity and independence is forming factions that emulate extreme independentness, the initial intention from the beginning, that are the detriment to the glorious nation at hand.

        The people of this once admirable country are becoming drawn apart and sectionalized. We all share similar origins, do we not? All citizens here today came from another home to create the conglomeration of Americans we see today; even the Natives came to this continent from Russia, long before the colonists came from the east, so why not live together in harmony?

As the colonies grew, there was an influx of ‘citizens’ of African and Chinese decent. At the beginning of the new age there were 12.5 million African Americans. These Africans saw their share of hardships in this our free land. Their resiliency and hard work allowed their ethnic position to grow and become a part of American society, thus introducing races of color to the vastly white communities across the country. But all for not, division has occurred again.

         As a member of a majorly white suburban community, I have firsthand visual conformation on the fact that people of hued race and the white community are divided and living within their own racial groups. How is America, the poster child of freedom and unity, allowing the racial division that has existed for centuries still have pertinence in today’s society?

The issue of this racial divide can be seen and heard in every home, town, and city in America. On this subject, there is a way America can become the interracial stronghold that it was meant to be. First, we must look at what needs to be done: the addition of races of color to diversify the largely white suburban communities that make up modern America. One may propose that the colored folk of the highly crowded projects and multi-family homes in cities should be separated and divided among the suburbs, but they would fails to see the issues that would create. They would have to take people, families, away from there the homes and jobs they have had for years, completely dismantling what those families have worked so hard on for years. Not to mention the empty buildings cities would have to deal with when there are no people living in them. So we do not risk the threat of home destruction and job termination, we need to go to a place where there are no permanent jobs and homes.

          There are millions of people each day in Africa who are fighting to survive and fighting for resources, and most of them lose this fight. This proposal is for the dispersal of these people in need, the mass exodus from Africa to America, the land of the free.

          To the contrary of any negative thought involving the effect on the current citizens of America, this proposal is not at the expense of the American people, rather, an addition of substantial economic status.

          The question may arise how we get these rectified members of our great society to America. My answer is: what is the most efficient and cost efficient mode of transportation? If you answered “by boat”, we would be on the same craft. These vehicles, these ships of mass proportion for this mass transportation would be of great value to the American society (i.e. jobs). Pilots, deck hands, ship maintenance, even ship construction will provide thousands to millions of jobless Americans a job that they could support a family with. Not only will these jobs boost family economic status but they will stimulate the national economy, the home market, the vacation market, every available resource and free market to America will benefit from this new enterprise.

As well as ship labor, revenue agents and CEO positions will have to be filled. Desk jobs for the common working man will be created to handle the mail, telephone, financial, and legal supports of this industry. Private collection sectors and private African collection agents would add a whole new level of the job market to the nation.

           Jobs will not only be created for current American citizens, no, but also the new citizens this program is designed to create. The fresh African Americans, who were previously jobless and homeless, will be able to get a job and create a home, the American way.

One may speculate the immense cost of the endeavor, and any one would be correct in assuming that this project will cost millions of dollars a year to maintain. But what one needs to take into account is the “billions” of dollars that will be generated from this transport enterprise. The suburban towns in need will be able to purchase any amount of African families they want and give them homes and food. The billions of dollars from the buying and selling of these desperate people alone could fund the enterprise, not to meant the money from wages and increased spending due to the new jobs and money the Americans will be making.

         The argument of home separation is moot as well. The people and families of the miniscule villages that will be rectified will be coming from hopeless shambles, to hopeful shelters. These people in disparate need for help will be given the help they need and deserve.        

         This new enterprise is the revolutionary movement that America has been looking for for years. It is a way to stimulate the economy, give millions of people jobs and homes, as well as diversify the suburban towns that need diversification. This project is a win-win in the eyes of the government and those who are governed. This is the future, this is now.